Girls Who Can’t Trust their Friends
“Never talk to strangers”. It is a timeless piece of advice that parents have been telling their children for generations. The implied threat is hardly ever explained, but as adults we know sexual crimes top the list. Although the stranger danger adage has been repeated over and over, it is only partially true. It may shock you to find that 8 out of 10 rape victims know their attacker.
Year after year, thousands of young women head off to university and college in all parts of the country. They are often unprepared for the dangers that they may lurk there – and it isn’t strangers. Being raped or assaulted by someone you know presents a whole new set of problems. For some reason, because it’s all happening within a closed group of friends and peers assaulted women are often not taken seriously and even get blamed by their own friends. No one wants to upset the apple cart.
Rape at college is often brushed off. It is treated as a mistake, just another drunken party antic, bad communication or maybe even the inevitable conclusion to “wild girls” who can’t hold their liquor. I head this and marvel that after all these years so little has changed. These rapes are almost never reported, and this can lead to deeply held emotional scars that can last for years.
Heading off to school is supposed to be an exciting and challenging time, but it’s also very difficult. Many kids have a hard time adjusting to life away from home. Some withdraw to their rooms and their books and others go a little haywire. It doesn’t make them bad- just vulnerable.
Here are six valuable things that every girl should know.
When alcohol gets involved, situations can easily get out of hand. Much too often, the blame is switched from the attacker to the victim. Even when the rape is reported, this can lead to the offender not getting punished. Your only sure hope for justice is prevention.
If a date is making you feel uncomfortable, let them know immediately. Do not let the situation escalate. When your safety is on the line, there is no need to worry about being embarrassed or sparing another persons feelings. Make your feelings clear, and then immediately leave.
It is very easy to be charmed by a perfect guy, especially if you haven’t done a lot of dating. But if you start to feel swamped and overwhelmed watch out for the danger signs of a potentially abusive relationship.
Never abandon a friend who has had too much to drink. There will always be other opportunities and social gatherings. As difficult as it may be, leave with her and get her back to a safe location.
Never go to parties or drinking alone. Always go with a friend you can trust not to leave you alone if you get too intoxicated.
There are all kinds of people on college campuses. Although the majority may seem trustworthy, realize that these are not the friends that you grew up with. Your trust is to be earned, not given away lightly. Don’t let yourself be a victim.